A Record Player, Mothers and A Fat White Guy

First off I would like to give a shout out to all the new mothers out there, Sarah and Wendy you are doing a great job, and et. al. your anonymity is safe with me.... congratulations again.

I can't wait to see them all together.

On to the story-

The Super Yard Sale at my place of employment is one of the biggest things to ever hit the minor league stadium's parking lot that we take over biannually. Because I am a sucker for punishment, I have become one of those people that wakes up at 4am to walk around the event until it is over with a staff t-shirt on (normally 3pm).

This year as well as looking busy, I decided to look for a used record player.

We all have dreams, some of them not as lofty as others. One of my lesser dreams is to start a record collection, and I took a big giant leap into accomplishment when I met a coworker's friend who was selling her record player for $25.

sidenote-
I also nearly recovered an old fashioned Gazelle that could slide under my bed, but didn't fit in my car. I petitioned Janice, who by the way now owns a minivan, and she said yes before she saw a lazyboy that would look real nice in her living room. The lazyboy fit, but the Gazelle had to take a ride to the landfill in a dumpster.

So I brought the record player home with me, and though I knew it needed a new needle, I didn't quite understand how much that would cost. I got the cheapest one The Soundgarden carried for $25. While I was there I decided to buy a couple of records because they have a great selection, and frankly I don't own a single record. I left the store spending about $68.

James Brown's "Hell" and The Danielson Famile's "Fetch The Compass Kids" are officially the first two albums I own. They both get glowing reviews, except that between every song on "Hell" there is an annoying gong sound which goes against the otherwise funky sounds all up in and throughout that album. But back to the story....

So now I have a record player, and a brand new needle. I fumbled with my first attempt at changing the needle and accidentally ripped one of the wires out of the arm, but eventually got three out of four of them plugged back in. Happy with life I rearranged my cabinet to plug the record player into the receiver, when I realized my fancy pants receiver was just too new and dumb to accept phono.

Now I needed to find a receiver and speakers.

I looked on craigslist and found both in one shot for $75. I called the lady, but luckily only got voicemail... so I left her a message. Before she returned my call I remembered that Guy had recently upgraded.

Guy said it would be okay if I took his old receiver and speakers, but that he might have to native-american-give if the situation developed.

Yesterday I called Guy and Dana in front of their house to tell them I was breaking in and stealing some electronics. They should have never given me a spare key.

I found everything and loaded up my car.

With the two large speakers and a receiver in my passenger seat I made my way to Best Buy for some speaker wire. The cheapest I could find was $15.99... and though there has to be a "Better Buy" somewhere else, I went for it.

So....

Me the two speakers, a receiver and the $15.99 speaker wire drove back to my apartment. After parking my car, I grabbed one speaker and brought it to the lobby of my building passing an older drugged up looking red haired woman who was talking to herself.

Then I walked back to my car and said "how ya doing" as a gesture, as well as to see how coherent she was... but received no response.

I got the second speaker out of my car and started walking it back to the lobby and noticed the lady was standing up and looking past me.

I dropped the speaker off in the lobby, went back outside and the lady was mumblescreaming down the street at some "Fat White Guy" and waving an open box cutter.

Because that was a little disturbing I just grabbed the speaker wire and made my way carefully around her and back into the safety of my building. I moved each of the speakers up to my apartment and set them up, and after about 30 minutes returned to my car to get the receiver. She was gone this time and I only hope the "Fat White Guy" is okay.

It took me about an hour before there was sound coming out of one speaker. I don't think this has to do with the receiver, or speakers, but most likely the shoddy needle replacement. Either way I cranked all three of the records I own last night ("Hell" is a doubler) and was so happy that I didn't even think about the $109.24 (I had to use a quarter to hold the needle down) I spent for 1970's technology.